Life, Relationship

11 Things A Good Guy Will Never Ask You To Do


Photo Credit – Harradox
By Denise NGO

We’ve all been in relationships where, at times, we’ve felt more like a mom or a secretary than a significant other. While we understand that healthy relationships require compromises, we’ve compiled a list of favors that good boyfriends know better than to consistently request. If you’re constantly taking on any of the items on this list (especially with any hint of resentment), it’s time to get your guy to lend a hand.

1. His laundry. Pairing your socks isn’t exactly our idea of a stay-at-home date, nor does living with you make us a 1950s housewife. A good compromise is for one partner to sort and start the laundry and the other to fold and put it away. Plus, studies show that helping around the house increases a man’s chances of getting laid. So, how ‘bout that pile of dishes? If you clean up the sink while we tackle the living room, we’ll get to the bedroom twice as fast.

2. Buy gifts and cards for other people on his behalf. We’ll help when we’re out with you, but no, we won’t make a pit stop at Hallmark and Laura Ashley while we’re shopping with the girls. Just because we’re women doesn’t mean we’re automatically adept at figuring out your Aunt Martha’s dress size.

3. Plan an entire vacation without his help. When we ask you whether you’d rather spend our anniversary in Rome or Vermont, we want you to express an actual preference, not to say, “Whatever, I’m happy with what makes you happy.” The same goes for the hotel, the airline, and the restaurant reservations. Letting us take the reins isn’t considerate, it’s just lazy and boring. Instead, make sure to divvy up the planning. We pick the location and hotel; you plan the activities.

4. Make him a sandwich. The refrigerator is 10 feet away and your game control has a pause button, so get up, stretch, and slap that ham and lettuce together by yourself. We don’t care if you’re “in the zone,” because apparently, you were out of it long enough to articulate your immediate need for a nibble. Maybe we’ll consider it if you agree to break from the game for 20 minutes, put on some coffee, and enjoy your afternoon snack with us.

5. Change your relationship status on Facebook. We believe our life outside of the Internet should speak for itself. On the off-chance that we break up, wouldn’t you rather tell your close friends in person, rather than have that ever-present broken heart appear on 500 people’s news feeds? Well, we would, so don’t even ask us to include our relationship status on Facebook in the first place.

6. Be his wake-up call. If we wanted a newborn, we’d just pierce the condom. Kidding! But really, buy an alarm clock. Remembering a man’s nap and wakeup schedule should be an occasional favor, not an everyday obligation.

7. Take care of his drunk friends. We’ll help them hail cabs or drive them home, but our couch really shouldn’t be a post-happy-hour crash pad.

8. Hang out with his ex. Some women like befriending the ex, and others just want to satisfy their curiosity about her, but don’t pressure the ones who would rather keep a distance.

9. Keep up with his favorite shows. How would you like it if we made you religiously watch The Bachelor? Instead, let’s pick a show we both like and make sure we follow it together.

10. Lose weight. We’ll tone up for health purposes and for ourselves, but if you’re really concerned about the 5 lbs we gained over the holidays, don’t flat-out complain that we’re getting flabby. Instead, invite us to go biking with you or to take a yoga class together. Treat exercise as a fun activity we can do together instead of something we should do just for you.

11. Keep our hair long. Trust us, short hair is cute, fun, and just as feminine as back-length hair. Just look at Halle Berry, Audrey Tautou and Keira Knightley, circa 2005. It’s not as if we’re going to shave it off or sport one of Rihanna’s hairstyles, but even if we did, we hope you’d find us just as attractive.

Credit – @Yahoo

Posted by Mr Oyagiri for Harradox Media


Baring the Female Breasts: Beyond Objectification

Stories From the Belly

There is so much more to a woman’s relationship to her breasts than meets the naked eye. In this post, I am thrilled to have two of my favorite bloggers, KS of Kosher Adobo and Jennifer Berney of Goodnight Already, joining me as we pay homage to this most famous of feminine body parts. Two Tahitian Women by Paul Gauguin
Two Tahitian Women by Paul Gauguin


I am a junior in boarding school. Behind me is a “Save Sex” poster and a perfume ad: “Femme Fatale: When the female of the species is more dangerous than the male.” It’s the night before the first day of school. I am tugging on the neck of my shirt, admiring my bra strap. Every bra I owned just a year before was white or beige, looking more like bandages for my then AA breasts. But this 36B brassiere, red and lined with lace, which I bought…

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20 Signs You’re Succeeding In Life Even If You Don’t Feel You Are


We all feel like failures from time to time. While this is a normal feeling, you have to find a way to see yourself and your life from a different perspective. Sometimes we ignore the “little things.” Just because you are not a millionaire, don’t live in a mansion, and you don’t drive a fancy car, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. In fact, it’s quite the contrary.

Here are 20 signs that you are succeeding in life:

1. Your relationships are less dramatic than they used to be.

Drama is not maturity. As we age, we should develop maturity. So maybe your relationships were drama-filled in your past, but if you have moved beyond that, then you are successful.

2. You are not afraid to ask for help and support any more.

Asking for help does not equal weakness. In fact, it is a strength. No person has ever succeeded in isolation. It takes teamwork to accomplish goals. Asking or help is a sign that you have grown as a person.

3. You have raised your standards.

You don’t tolerate bad behavior any more – from other people, or even yourself. You hold people accountable for their actions. You don’t spend time with the “energy vampires” in your life anymore.

4. You let go of things that don’t make you feel good.

No, this is not narcissistic even though it might seem like it. Self-love is success. Love yourself enough to say ‘no’ to anything that doesn’t make you happy, doesn’t serve your purpose, or drags you down.

5. You have moments where you appreciate who you see in the mirror.

Ideally, you should appreciate who you see in the mirror at every moment. But even if that doesn’t happen, if you do it more than you used to, then that is success. Love yourself. You are awesome.

6. You have learned that setbacks and failure are part of self-growth.

Not everyone can have success 100% of the time. That’s just not realistic. Life is about victories and losses. So look at your setbacks as stepping stones to something better. In reality, there really is no such thing as as setback. It’s all just part of a wondrous journey.

7. You have a support system that includes people who would do anything for you.

If you have figured out the people who “have your back” and recognized the ones who only pretend that they do, then you have succeeded. This is a painful realization, but once you learn to see the signs of betrayal, you can stay away from those people.

8. You don’t complain much.

Because you know there really is nothing to complain about. Unless you really have gone through some horrific life experience and had unimaginable losses, most of what we all experience on a day-to-day basis is just mundane. And successful people know that. And they live in a space of gratitude.

9. You can celebrate others’ successes.

Just because other people succeed, that doesn’t make you a failure. Applaud the people who rise to the top. The more positive energy you give to other people’s victories, the more you will create your own.

10. You have passions that you pursue.

You are not stagnant. You know you have something wonderful to contribute to the world. You have unique talents and gifts. Not only do you know that, you pursue it.

11. You have things to look forward to.

If you don’t have exciting things going on in your life that you are eagerly anticipating, then you are slowly dying inside. Successful people create goals that they are passionate about pursuing. They let this excitement drive their life.

12. You have goals that have come true.

Even though “failures” are a part of life, you have stuck to your goals and dreams long enough to make them come to fruition. You have  some tastes of victory. It fuels you.

13. You have empathy for others.

A person without empathy is dead inside. Empathy equals spreading love and positive energy into the world. Successful people know this. They love others as if they are family.

14. You love deeply and open yourself up to be loved by others.

Love is risky, and sometimes scary for people. It’s the one thing we all strive for, but it’s also intimately tied to the one thing we fear the most – rejection. If you open your heart enough to love and be loved, then you are successful.

15. You refuse to be be a victim.

You know that life doesn’t always happen to you. Many times, you are a co-creator of your life experiences. Successful people know this and refuse to be kept down by life experiences. The rise up and conquer anyway.

16. You don’t care what other people think.

You know you can’t please everyone. You know that the standards with which society judges people is many times unrealistic. So you just keep true to yourself and love the person you are.

17. You always look on the bright side.

Life can be full of disappointments – if you choose to see them that way. Otherwise, they are learning opportunities. No negative experience is ever wasted as long as you learn from it.

18. You accept what you can’t change.

Let’s face it – there many things you can’t change in life. All you can change is how you view what happens. If you can change your negative perspective on situations to a positive one, then you are successful.

19. You change what you can.

And let’s face it again – there are many things you can change in life. Successful people don’t sit around accepting the negatives that are changeable. They get out there and do something about it!!

20. You are happy.

To me, this is the ultimate definition of success. It doesn’t matter what the balance is in your bank account, how big your house is,  or how many fancy vacations you take. If you are happy, then you are succeeding in life.

Credit – @LifeHack


6 Sex Rules Every Man Should Follow To Be Good In Bed


Despite paradoxes inherent in male sexuality and the culture that encourages men to have sex with women while simultaneously degrading them for being willing to do so, it is my belief that it’s possible to get the sex you want while also not being an asshole. After all, speaking strictly from a position of enlightened self-interest, a culture where women aren’t treated simultaneously as sex objects and then slut-shamed by the men that desire them for being sex objects is a culture where women are going to be more willing to express themselves sexually. Thus, I encourage men to be sex-positive but also to look for the sex they want in a way that doesn’t make women uncomfortable or cast them in an antagonistic role. Or as I like to call it: “Fuck Like A Gentleman”.

But the sex-positive, collaborative view of sex goes beyond just the act of trying to pick someone up; it continues well into the bedroom as well. After all, taking someone home isn’t the end of the game, and it’s all to easy to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by acting like an asshat. So let’s take a look at what it takes to truly fuck like a gentleman.

1. Only Sleep With People You Could Be Friends With

This has been a rule of thumb that I adopted late in my development as I was beginning to exit the PUA scene: I would only sleep with people I could see myself being friends with. One of the things that helped reshape my thinking about casual sex was the number of times I ended up going home with someone I was interested in having sex with… but couldn’t stand to talk to as soon as I was done. And let me tell you, there is little more awkward that being in bed with someone and wondering just how you can extract yourself from the situation as quickly and painlessly as possible. And I’m not the only person who’s had this issue; most of my friends in the scene have had elaborate ways of trying to get out (or shuffle their partner out the door) as soon as they got their rocks off.
Sex is a relationship — even if it’s only a relationship for that evening — and treating someone like a sex toy just because you’re not planning on seeing them again is incredibly dehumanizing. Being able to have a conversation with someone and enjoying their company even if sex was off the table is a core component to fucking like a gentleman; not only does it mean you are going to treat her with respect, but it makes the aftermath much less awkward. When you’re compatible with someone, even someone who you’re just planning on a one night stand with, you don’t feel like you’re making the “walk of shame” afterwards or wondering just what the hell you were thinking (You weren’t. You were horny. Horny people frequently make bad decisions) doing going home with that person.

Plus: that potential for friendship and compatibility makes the sex much more enjoyable. After all, it’s far easier to have conversations about kinks, positions, condoms, etc. with someone you’re into intellectually as well as sexually than with someone you’re hoping just to bang and forget.

It’s easy to think that, because you’re only planning on a one-night stand, you’ll never see them again. Except… if the sex is good, why wouldn’t you want to see them again? Plus, many an amazing relationship began as a one-night stand that just didn’t end. It’s easier to pivot from a ONS to something more frequent if you’re at least friendly before hand than if you’re just two strangers planning on using each other and disappearing into the night.

2. Enthusiastic Consent Is The Default Standard

I can’t emphasize this enough: no matter the circumstances, if you’re going to be having sex with someone, then you should be looking for an enthusiastic yes, not just trying to avoid a “no.”  Just because she came home with you — or you went to her place — doesn’t mean that it’s all over but the squishy noises. Even if you think that your intentions were perfectly clear, each participant’s expectations can vary drastically. She may be down for banging… or she may be willing to fool around some but isn’t sure she wants to actually have sex. She may have been heavily into you at the party but now that you’re at the front door, she’s not entirely sure… but doesn’t necessarily want to upset you by asking you to take her home right then and there. Never assume that “everyone knows what X means;” misunderstandings happen and people can have wildly different ideas about what they’ve just signed up for.
Thus: you want to make sure there are no misunderstandings or wrong ideas. After all, you want someone who is eager to fuck you, not somebody who is going along to get along because she feels obligated and doesn’t believe she has the right to back out now.
And that enthusiasm is important. Enthusiastic consent means someone who is a willing and excited participant and taking a “no” — even a soft or indirect “no” — as an answer.  On occasion, you’ll hear from guys who insist that women will play “How bad do you really want it?” by saying “no” when they really mean “try harder.” Beyond my initial reaction of “so could you sound a little more rapey?” my answer is “so what?” If she’s playing head games (Spoiler Alert: she isn’t) then the best thing to do is not play. The last thing you want is to be with someone who thinks “hard to get” is a valid dating strategy. Bid her a fond good night, and find someone else who isn’t going to send conflicting messages rather than buying into the idea that “no” is really a bargaining point instead of a refusal.
Also: remember that consent is granular; someone may consent to, say, oral, but not for full intercourse; this is why it’s important to check in with your partner rather than just assuming “well, she’s been cool with everything else…” or deciding that it’s all fait accomplished. And of course, consent can be withdrawn without question. If for whatever reason she’s decided she doesn’t want to do something any more, the only response a gentleman has is to say “I understand” and to stop without complaint.

3. Respect Her Boundaries (And Enforce Your Own)

Tying into enthusiastic consent, you want to respect your partner’s boundaries.
People are complicated, often contradictory beasts. We all have limits and things that we just cannot or will not do… and they aren’t always logical or may not even make sense to an outside party. But just because we don’t necessarily understand the reason or motivation for somebody’s boundaries doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t respect them… especially when sex is involved.
Everyone has things that are a hard “no” to them while others may be a “not yet” while still others could well be negotiated under the right circumstances. Each person has the right to determine where his or her limits are and how firm they are, no matter whether they seem entirely logical and reasonable or completely absurd.  It’s not up to you to decide which things are okay to push against which other things aren’t. This means not trying to manipulate her, guilt her or otherwise apply social pressure like “freeze-outs” and other anti-Last Minute Resistance techniques. This is coercion, not consent.
But respecting boundaries doesn’t just mean hers; it means yours as well… and you should be willing to enforce them as needed. Just as she is free to draw the line and not be pushed past it, so too are you. Many guys I know live in fear of the Paradise By the Dashboard Light moment, being brought up short in what seems like the worst possible minute and making sex conditional on agreeing to a relationship, marriage or some other unwanted transaction. Still others worry about being led on by someone who wants to manipulate them through their junk, perpetually leading them on by keeping the promise of sex just tantalizingly out of reach. And these are all areas where you have to be willing to say “no” and hold firm. You don’t make a fuss or accuse them of trying to pull anything. Just refuse to play; don’t let yourself be guilted, taunted or teased into giving in.
Does it mean you’re giving up the possibility of sex with this person? Well… yes. Sometimes the price of enforcing your boundaries means not screwing manipulative people. Trust me, this is a feature, not a bug and you’ll be much happier for it.

4. Be GGG

One of the most important concepts that the official NerdLove Patronus Dan Savage came up with is the concept of being “GGG” — that is, being good, giving, and game. In many ways, this represents the core of the “fucking” part of “fuck like a gentleman” (To forestall the inevitable comments: yes, the idea of being GGG applies to both women and men. But in the context of this article, I’m specifically addressing guys.) Here’s how you apply it:

A. Be Good (In Bed)

What this means is that you should aspire to be a skilled, talented lover. Don’t necessarily have the experience to build up those skill points? Then you practice. The keys to learning how to be a good lover are very simple: you show an eagerness to listen, an ability to take direction and criticism without taking it personally or letting your ego get in the way. Even if you’re a complete virgin who’s never even seen a woman naked in person, having an open mind and a can-do attitude will make you far more appealing than someone who’s had dozens of partners but doesn’t pay attention to his lovers’ pleasure. Attitude and a willingness to learn count for a lot.

B. Be Giving (Of Time and Pleasure)

You want to be considerate of your partner’s pleasure. This means foreplayLots of it. Far too many people — even ones who consider themselves to be amazing lovers — spend a minimal amount of time playing with her breasts, perfunctory oral sex, and then straight to the bangin’. Sex is about more than just getting the peen in, and treating sex as a holistic exercise that incorporates your entire bodies is key. There are more erogenous zones than just her nipples, her clitoris and her g-spot after all, and tagging all three like you’re running the bases and headed for home tends to signal that you’re an inconsiderate lover. Take time to make out more — having her straddle your thigh while you make out provides pressure to the pubic mound that can be amazing, for example — and find just all of those areas that make you both gasp, bite your lip and moan.
Keep in mind that different people have different arousal patterns. Want to know hers? Ask. Take turns exploring revealing something you want the other to do, letting it drive you both towards the edge until you’re almost ready to explode.

C. Be Game For Anything (Within Reason)

We all have our turn ons and kinks. Sometimes kismet happens and you’ll turn out to have complimentary interests, but more often than not, both you and your partner will have kinks that you don’t share. One of the keys of being a great lover is being willing to try new things, even if they’re not necessarily the actions that turn your crank. Being willing to do something different — even if it’s not something you’re into or even are a little unsure of — for the sake of your partner’s pleasure is part of what makes you a more giving and attentive paramour… and it makes your relationship better, according to science. Studies have shown that being flexible with what you’re willing to try in bed has been proven to dramatically increase a partner’s sense of satisfaction with the relationship.
But this isn’t about grudgingly trying something new; half-heartedly participating in something your partner enjoys is, in many ways, worse than not doing it at all. It signals that you’re only doing this to placate her and you’re less concerned about her pleasure than you are about getting her to just shut up about it. So you need to be bringing your best effort, even with the understanding that it may not be your favorite thing in the world.
An obvious disclaimer: the “within reason” part is important. Hopefully it goes without saying that you don’t want to try something that would leave you curled up on the floor or crying in the shower. But being willing to take a step outside of your comfort zone and pushing the envelope of your sexual repertoire for the sake of your partner’s sexual satisfaction is important. And after all, you’d want her to be willing to do the same for you.

5. Great Sex Does Not (Necessarily) Equal Orgasms

It’s important to keep in mind: sex, even great sex doesn’t necessarily equal orgasms. Because it’s generally very easy for men to get off — too easy at times, to be honest — guys tend to be very orgasm-focused, seeing it as the end goal of sex. However, women’s ability to reach orgasm (and what they need to get there) can vary greatly from person to person. Some women need a great deal of direct clitoral stimulation — sometimes more than the human body can provide — in order to come. Others are easier to get off than a pair of shoes. Most women can’t orgasm strictly through penetrative sex without clitoral stimulation; some can, but they’re decidedly in the minority. Some women can be unable to orgasm at all for a variety of reasons. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that not having an orgasm means that the sex wasn’t great; women can still enjoy the intimacy, the sensation and the act, even if they don’t come. Treating sex as orgasm-centric can put a lot of pressure on women to perform — occasionally literally — and paradoxically make it harder to get off.
BUT! This doesn’t mean that you can view her orgasm as a secondary concern. Instead of treating orgasms as the end goal, treat them as part of the process — a part of the pleasure from sex as a whole rather than an attitude of “well, you got yours, now it’s my turn.”
And speaking of orgasms… most men tend to treat their orgasm as the signal that sex is now over, even if it happened earlier than one might hope. And in fairness, when men come, their bodies produce the hormone prolactin which causes us to lose our interest in sex, for our erections to deflate and makes us get sleepy immediately afterwards. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that sex is done — especially if your partner is still revved up and ready to go. Yes, you may have lost your hard on, but your hands and tongue don’t go limp; power through the drowsiness and ensure your partner’s satisfaction. You can both collapse into an exhausted, happy and gloriously sweaty heap afterwards.
And speaking of…

6. Don’t Blow The Afterglow

Regardless of whether it’s a one-night stand or a relationship of long-standing, you have an obligation to manage things after sex as well. At the very least, a gentleman provides a warm washcloth for immediate clean-up, water and a shower afterwards. What you don’t do is immediately try to make your escape or shuffle them out the door. Yeah, you’re worried about whether letting her stay would mean that she’s going to get overly attached. Don’t worry: odds are she’s thinking the exact same thing… especially if you’re a one night stand. She’s about as likely to not want to stay over as you are — after all, nobody likes the awkward morning after with a relative stranger.
If you don’t want her staying over — or you want to get back to your place, after — then you need to establish this early. This means before sex starts. You don’t have to make an elaborate production of it, just mention “I really want to do this, but just so you know I have an early meeting/ have to be up stupid early/ have to walk and feed my dog.” Not only will she understand — both the actual need and the underlying message — but odds are she’ll be relieved; it takes the pressure off you both from having the awkward .”..sooooo” moment once the possibility of just one more go-round has faded.
Regardless of whether you stay or go, the next day you owe her a text at the very least. It doesn’t have to be elaborate; just a very simple “Hey, I just wanted you to know, I had a great time with you last night.” That’s it; a simple acknowledgement that you enjoyed yourself and you appreciate her involvement. If you’re not planning on seeing her again, then just leave it there; don’t make any empty promises of “let’s do it again some time” that you don’t actually mean. The post-sex text is a small thing, but it goes a very long way to saying that you see her as a person, someone who was your partner in this, not just a sex toy to be used and discarded.
It’s just the gentlemanly thing to do.
This applies to both sexes, male and female…
Credit- @Aquavibes


Walking with Medusa, poem by Robin Dawn Hudechek (Mythic Poetry Series)

Silver Birch Press

by Robin Dawn Hudechek

I walk secluded beaches,
my robes flowing around my legs.
Only here do I unwind the cloth that binds
my hair. Only here do I lift my eyes.
The clouds are as lovely and fearless
in their shifting colors when I look at them
as they will be the day I am released,
the day I am gone.

I would like you to take my hand.
Close your eyes if you have to
when snakes wind around your neck.
In their slow and calming hiss
there is love in all of their heads,
for the one who will pause
to admire the beauty in my face
my lithe body, my seamless walks
through forests. Take my hand, I beg you.
Walk with me. Talk with me
about the blackberries you picked
from the field behind your home.
Offer them to me in handfuls,

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Nigeria News

Apc, Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi shuts down Port Harcourt

•All APC’s presidential aspirants honour Governor at seventh anniversary of Supreme Court victory
Tumultuous crowd and all the presidential aspirants on the platform of the All Progressives Congress (APC) were yesterday in Port Harcourt, the Rivers State capital, to honour Governor Rotimi Amaechi. The occasion was the seventh anniversary of his Supreme Court victory, leading to heavy traffic in the Garden City.
The Rivers Solidarity Convention, with theme: “Seven Years of Change We Can See,” took place at the 40,000-seater Adokiye Amiesimaka Stadium, Igwuruta-Ali, at the Greater Port Harcourt City, near the Port Harcourt International Airport, along the ever-busy Port Harcourt-Owerri Federal Road, recently dualised by Amaechi’s government.
Yesterday’s anniversary was also used to inaugurate the stadium, constructed by the Amaechi administration to boost sports in Nigeria, while thousands of members of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), across the 23 local government areas of Rivers State, led by a former Deputy Speaker of the House of Assembly, Emmanuel Deeya, who defected to the APC.
The elaborate celebration was transmitted live on the Africa Independent Television (AIT), Channels Television; the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA) and the Silverbird Television (STV).
The APC’s presidential aspirants at the event were a former Head of State, Gen. Muhammadu Buhari (rtd.); ex-Vice-President Atiku Abubakar; the Governor of Kano State, Musa Rabiu Kwankwaso; his Imo State counterpart, Rochas Okorocha and Sam Nda-Isaiah.
Also in attendance were the National Chairman of the APC, Chief John Odigie-Oyegun; the Governor of Kwara State, Abdulfatah Ahmed and his predecessor, Senator Bukola Saraki, as well as a former Governor of Ekiti State, Dr. Kayode Fayemi, and his predecessor, Segun Oni, an engineer, who is also the Deputy National Chairman, South, of the APC, lawmakers and other eminent personalities.
Buhari said the APC, from next year, would provide security and development in Nigeria, while Atiku urged Nigerians to vote for APC in 2015 to eradicate poverty and ensure steady electricity, good roads and good schools, among others, with Kwankwaso noting that Amaechi is ensuring peace and stability in Nigeria, as the Chairman of the Nigeria Governors’ Forum (NGF).
Okorocha assured that the APC would provide the best presidential candidate with vision for Nigeria, not based on religion or tribe, while Nda-Isaiah stated that God gave Rivers people good governor Amaechi, declaring that he had never seen the kind of crowd at the Adokiye Amiesimaka Stadium before.
Odigie-Oyegun assured that the APC would wipe out corruption in Nigeria and that APC is in charge of Rivers State, contrary to the claim of the leaders of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), stating that the progress in the state could be replicated at the centre and all over Nigeria.
Amaechi, who danced so well, while addressing the unprecedented crowd, urged Nigerians to punish out the PDP and President Goodluck Jonathan with their votes in 2015, in order to bring about the much-desired change.
The former head of state said: “I do not think there is anything remaining. All that needs to be said has been said, but I stand here to congratulate the Governor of Rivers State and you the good people of Rivers State. You have been lucky for seven good years and you are going to remain lucky for one more year, God willing.
“I assure you that the coming together of APC of the major opposition so-called political parties is to make sure that we consolidate what is lacking in Nigeria, security and development, and God willing, APC from next year, will provide them. God will answer our prayers.”
The former vice-president noted that he had been associating with the state since 1985 and had not seen the kind of progress in those years, like he had seen in the last seven years.
Atiku said: “Do you want the progress to continue? Do you want to feel the projects? Do you want to eradicate poverty? Do you want to go to good schools? Do you want good roads? Do you want power? Vote APC. Vote APC. Vote APC.”
Kwankwaso, while also speaking, said: “Let me start by congratulating my friend, my brother, my Chairman, the Chairman of the Nigeria Governors’ Forum, Rt. Hon. Rotimi Amaechi. Let me congratulate him for the projects and programmes he had executed in this state in the last seven years, one of which is this very big stadium.
“Let me also congratulate you for being a good Chairman for Governors of this country and let me also congratulate you for ensuring peace and stability in this country. We are very much aware of the relationship that existed between this part of the country with the Northern part of the country and other parts.
“This governor (Amaechi) has worked so hard in the last seven years to ensure good relationship between us. I want to assure you that many of us from the other parts of the country will continue to work together with you and the other good people of this state and also this part of the country.”
The governor of Imo State spoke so passionately about the crowd at the stadium and the massive support Rivers people gave the NGF chairman.
Okorocha said: “My people, my people, let me say that today (yesterday), my eyes have seen the good works of a gentleman. I am simply tantalised, mesmerised and flabbergasted. Today (yesterday), we have seen a sign of change; the change has come and the change must be.
“Let no one contest on the platform of tribe or you can become a tribal leader. We need a national leader that can move this nation forward. My prayer is that may the Almighty God, who has started the good work in Amaechi, may He continue with him in Jesus’ name.”
Nda-Isaiah said: “Exactly this day, seven years ago, God gave you a good governor, who vaunted the life of the people. He built schools and did other good things. The best thing he did for you is to move from PDP to APC.
“I hope you heard what the governor (Amaechi) had said. In 2015, I hope the other parties are watching. I have never seen this kind of crowd before and whoever is planning to rig will have to contend with this crowd.”
The national chairman of the APC also berated President Jonathan for describing Rivers APC as a party that existed only on billboards and posters.
Odigie-Oyegun said: “Like your governor (Amaechi) said, in Benin, during the PDP’s Southsouth campaign, he (President Jonathan) told the whole nation that APC does not exist in Rivers State. That it is only a poster party. We were worried and we were concerned. Your governor, a fantastic man, was challenged.
“So, today, he (Amaechi) brought all of us here. The entire leadership of the APC is lined up here today. .
“Those of you who believe that the progress in Rivers State can be replicated at the centre and all over Nigeria, say yeah. Those who believe that APC will wipe out corruption in this nation, Nigeria, give me one gbosa. Those who believe that APC will guarantee better security for this country, give me another yeah.”
Amaechi, who was so relaxed, in spite of the intimidation and persecution by the Federal Government and President Jonathan, said he was at the stadium to test his popularity.
The NGF chairman said: “They (PDP leaders) have made too much noise. The President (Jonathan) says we exist only on posters and billboards. So, we brought a large billboard for him. If the President is not watching (the rally), they will give him security report.
“This stadium is 40,000 sitting capacity. I built it. It was built by me. One of them campaigning for Rivers governorship (Chief Nyesom Wike, the immediate past Minister of State for Education) was the contractor to do the roads. He abandoned the roads and took N3 billion and left. Now, he wants to be governor.
“I challenge them to an integrity test. Any of them from Abuja to Rivers State, I challenge them to an integrity test. I have worked with them. I have their records and their (records) are in the Office of the Governor.
“We have developed 750 megawatts, but the problem is Federal Government not allowing us to distribute electricity.
“We were to give Port Harcourt water. As I am talking to you today, the Minister of Finance (Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala) has refused to move the file again back to Executive Council for approval, so that you can have water. They do not care for you. They want you to die of water-borne diseases. Punish them with your votes. Punish PDP with your votes. He (Jonathan) is our son, why can’t we have water?
“The problem we have is that the EFCC (Economic and Financial Crimes Commission) is no longer working. Corruption is at its industrial scale. Thieves are thieves because we now have an industry called corruption.”
The Rivers governor also lauded all the members of the National Assembly for standing by his government, stressing that eight of the members of the House of Representatives from the state came with him to the APC, while the rest betrayed him, declaring that they would be punished by Rivers people with their votes in 2015.
The NGF chairman also thanked Rivers people, for keeping him as governor and standing by him, stressing that he had no choice, but to deliver on his promises
Amaechi also stated: “They said the reason why the President (Jonathan) is not performing in Rivers State is because he is quarrelling with the Governor of Rivers State. Okay, what is the quarrel between the Governor of Akwa Ibom State and the Governor of Cross River State that the roads from Akwa Ibom State to Cross River State is abandoned? Are they quarrelling too? It is more of lack of performance.
“When the President (Jonathan) spoke in Benin, he spoke in a stadium that was less than 20,000-sitting capacity. When TAN (Transformation Ambassadors of Nigeria) held their rally in Port Harcourt, they held it at the 16,000 capacity Elekahia stadium and this was a Southsouth rally. The rally in Benin was Southsouth. The rally in Port Harcourt was Southsouth. This one (APC mega rally) is Port Harcourt rally.
“Do you remember Ebola? To show you how much the President hates us, he visited Lagos, did he visit Rivers State? He did not care. He wanted all of us to die, but I took it as a challenge and said none of us would die. Whatever it will take, I will do what I can by God’s grace to protect Rivers people.
“Can you see our airport (Port Harcourt International Airport)? The president lands at the airport. But see how we look like refugees. They say there is no light at the airport. What did we do to them? We gave him the highest votes in the country and the punishment we get for giving him the highest vote is operation nothing. So, APC is the solution to protect our interest. We must go there to vote out the PDP. It is not about our son.
“They tell you that you should not vote for these people, because they are Hausa people, they are Muslims, but the refinery in Rivers State was built and commissioned by Tafawa Balewa, he is a northerner. Shehu Shagari started NAFCON, Ibrahim Babangida commissioned it. IBB started the Eleme Petrochemical Company, Sani Abacha completed it. They are all northerners; they are all Muslims. NLNG was started and completed by Abacha and he is a northerner and a Muslim. Bonny NLNG, NDDC, Niger Delta Ministry were established by northerners.
“In fact, when Yar’Adua was alive, Niger Delta Ministry was working, Now it is only one item: East-West Road, and they say he (President Jonathan) is our brother. He is not my brother. My brother is the man who delivers on his services for me. If the President says he is our brother, let him call one project (his administration has embarked upon in Rivers State).”
The representative of Rivers Southeast Senatorial District, Magnus Ngei Abe, while speaking, stressed that yesterday’s rally was better than any of the rallies in Nigeria during the 2011 campaigns, stating that anybody Amaechi supports would do well.
Abe, who is also the Chairman of the Senate Committee on Petroleum (Downstream), declared that the charlatans and noisemakers (PDP leaders) that Nigerians were seeing now, they would no longer see them from May 29, 2015.
While speaking on behalf of the members of the House of Representatives, Dr. Dakuku Peterside, who represents Andoni-Opobo/Nkoro constituency of Rivers State and the Chairman of the Rivers APC Contact Committee, described Amaechi as a man of integrity and character.
Peterside, who is also the Chairman of the House of Representatives’ Committee on Petroleum (Downstream), noted that with the trust Rivers people have in Amaechi, they would go for APC, all the way, while assuring that Rivers people are solidly behind the youthful governor.
The Speaker of the Rivers House of Assembly, Otelemaba Dan Amachree, stated that Amaechi had brought change to the state and transformed Rivers, as well as being the face of modern democracy, with 25 of the 31 lawmakers “solidly” behind him.
The Rivers Chairman of the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC), Dr. Chris Oruge, maintained that labour is in support of Amaechi, while expressing surprise that just last Wednesday, some PDP leaders sent thugs to his office to kill him for supporting the NGF chairman, declaring that Amaechi is performing and Rivers workers are behind him.
The Chairman of the Trade Union Congress of Nigeria (TUC), Rivers chapter, Chika Onuegbu, described Amaechi as a listening and performing governor.
In his welcome address, the Rivers Deputy Governor, Tele Ikuru, an engineer, who is also the Chairman of the Central Organising Committee of the seventh anniversary, stated that the giants Rivers people and other Nigerians are seeing today, they will see them no more from May 29, 2015, but to stand for progressive change and have the courage to sweep them into oblivion.



Nigeria News

President GOODLUCK Jonathan finally declares interest to contest the 2015 elections

President Goodluck Jonathan on Thursday finally declared interest in contesting the 2015 presidential elections.

He told Peoples Democratic Party
leaders at the presidential villa, Abuja that he would procure nomination form of the party before the deadline.

He has also set up a presidential declaration committee saddled with the responsibility of coming up with a formal programme for his declaration.

He has also set up a presidential declaration committee saddled with the responsibility of coming up with a formal programmer of his declaration.

The committee is headed by Dr. Haliru
The declaration will be between November 7th and 15th.



FCKH8’s “F-Bomb Princess” video isn’t offensive—it’s exploitative.

Dr. Rebecca Hains

Yesterday, for-profit T-shirt company released a video called “F-Bombs for Feminism: Potty-Mouthed Princesses Use Bad Word for Good Cause.” The video features five angry girls, ages 6 to 13, who express outrage at society’s sexist treatment of girls and women while decked out in princess attire.

F-Bombs for FeminismThe video opens with the girls sweetly cooing, “Pretty!” while posing in their gowns and tiaras. But three seconds later, they switch gears and shout: “What the fuck? I’m not some pretty fuckin’ helpless princess in distress. I’m pretty fuckin’ powerful and ready for success. So what is more offensive? A little girl saying ‘fuck,’ or the fucking unequal and sexist way society treats girls and women?”

As the video progresses, the girls review the ongoing issues of inequality, systematic discrimination, and sexual violence faced by women in the U.S. They pepper these facts with more f-bombs, of course.

This combination of pretty pink princesses and relentless use of the…

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True Love

James' Funnies

A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said,
“Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”
Beth replied, “Well Charles, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 30 years, but always for a good reason.”
Charles was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, ” I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons’?”
Beth said, “The very first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage.
Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he…

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10 Ways Entrepreneurs Sabotage Their Success

One night you go to sleep thinking you have it in you to take over the world, to build a great business, to build great relationships, to have a great family. Then you wake up the next morning and nothing makes sense…


You start asking yourself “Why? Why me? Why should I sign that contract? Why should I marry that person? Why should I keep going?” You question your first big sale, you question the business model that is actually working, you question everything, including yourself. All of the sudden, you no longer deserve the contract, you no longer deserve your significant other, you no longer deserve your success. Distractions and fear come in.


If you have ever felt that way, I want you to take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. Almost every human being has at least once felt one of the above. The difference between those who make it and those who don’t is the fact that those who make it don’t allow those doubts and feelings of self-sabotage to stop them. Why should they, anyways? Why should you?


Below are the 10 ways entrepreneurs sabotage their success. Read them, internalize them and do the exact opposite.


Harradox Images

Harradox Images

1. Keep saying yes to everything. Know that you have a very limited and precious amount of time and resources on this earth. Spend them accordingly. If you keep saying yes to every request, to every project, and to everyone, sooner than you think, not only will you be in a perpetual frustration mode, but you won’t have time to do what matters most. A good measuring stick for this is: If after you said yes, you felt angry for saying it, you probably shouldn’t have said it. Sounds common sense, but common sense isn’t so common these days.


2. Don’t show up for your appointments. People are expecting you? No worries. People are counting on your for something? No worries. You have promised something to someone and don’t feel like following through? No big deal, right? Wrong. There is absolutely no excuse for the “sorry, I forgot.” I once hired someone to do a simple banner work and he was a no-show for two appointments. I immediately cut ties with him. When a friend came to me asking if I knew someone trustworthy to interview for a very lucrative media project, guess who I recommended? Not that guy. Referral and word-of-mouth are the best forms of winning business. Show up. Be present. Do what you said you would do.


3. Compare yourself to others. Johnny has nice benefits, a “safe” job, and he just got a nice raise while you are working 14 hour days, most of which are paid in sweat only, in your start-up. You look at him and say, “What am I doing with my life?” Don’t. Just don’t. When you start to wonder in those terms, stop. You shouldn’t care about Johnny at all. You should care about yourself, your family and your customers. Society has done a good job of making you think you should act and feel a certain way, and that if you don’t, there’s something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. Don’t compare yourself to anyone. Ever. You should be your priority. Put some horse blinders on, ignore the distractions around you, and keep hustling.


4. Don’t believe in your product or idea. If you don’t believe in your stuff, who will? No one. If your eyes don’t shine and if you don’t get as excited as a 5th grader talking about their love for insects as you talk about your idea, then something is wrong. If you are not passionate about it, no one else will be. It all starts with you. The moment you start passionately and enthusiastically talking about your project, it will rub off to others. They will be your customers and evangelists for life.


5. Keep thinking that you’re bothering people. A friend once told me he had a problem contacting prospective clients because he always felt he was bothering them. He never got any clients. He let his vision fade away because of what he thought others thought about him. A lack of self-esteem will ruthlessly bring you down. Be careful.

6. Have no clear idea where your business, and your life, are going. A well thought-out plan is an absolute must. You have to know where you are going if you ever want to get there. As a fellow author once put it, “A man/woman who aims at nothing, hits it with amazing accuracy.” Do leave some room open to serendipity and to occasional twists and turns – you will change direction many times and your vision will evolve – but if you don’t set out a destination, you will be stuck. What’s worse, you will reach results and places you dread.

7. Promise the world and deliver a city. Never, ever tell anyone you can do X, Y and Z and end up delivering half of X. Be more than that. Promise little. Then wow your customers, friends and family by always delivering way more than expected. Zappos has mastered this art pretty well. They promise a pair of shoes will get to your house in five days. Three days later, you get your shoes in the mail. Sometimes they also upgrade you to overnight delivery without your knowledge. That’s why they are so successful and that’s why they have customers for life.


8. Keep procrastinating. That’s the most common form of self-sabotage. We are always waiting for the ‘perfect’ conditions to start a project, or to simply fulfill existing ones. Our brains are lazy. They look for the easy way out. They don’t like change, or hard work. Fight those feelings. You’re bigger than them. Train your brain to withstand the pain of starting projects whenever you have to, instead of whenever you feel like it.

As Pablo Picasso once said…

Harradox Images

Harradox Images

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.


9. Just don’t finish the stuff you started. A fast way to fail is to never finish what you started. An even faster way to fail is to start several things and never finish any of them. Don’t waste your energy, and time, on many things. Start one thing, finish it, and then move on to the next project. Be a master of one thing, not a jack-of-all-trades who knows nothing deeply about any of those subjects.


10. Treat your customers poorly. Well-Fargo will never have my business just because of one bad encounter – that could have easily been avoided – with one of its branch managers. Today’s markets are relationship-based. You don’t have to agree with everything your customers say, but you should always greet them with a larger-than-life smile and with a warm handshake. They are the reason you are in business. Your customers are the reason why you are able to pay your bills. Treat them well. Also, treat each client as if he/she were your highest-paying one. If you do that, I promise you will get more clients, faster, and get more business from the existing ones.